I'm Jessica.

This is a random mix of daily novelties

Saturday, March 15, 2003

tired of being tired.

decided to spice up my life and added a new shade of purple to my blog...sad huh, that's pretty much all it takes these days!?

hung out with Kristina Carlton last night for a few hours; It's cool when you know that you are supposed to become friends with someone and you're even comfortable with them through all the getting to know ya stuff at the beginning. we had a good time eating Chuy's (I'm really gonna miss Tex-Mex) and watched "bringing down the house" which was fairly funny. She and Bob have really cool dogs Mojo and Pepper. Mojo is a pitbull /great dane mix and super lovable...I know, weird right?!

Shannon and I spent today getting things together for the apartment that the English will stay in for wabiSABI. It's Derek and Amy's place that they just moved out of and the first of the Sheffield crew arrives tomorrow.

Trying not to get stressed about not having a venue yet for Saturday nite Wabi...I know that God's got this but I sure do wish He would fill me in on some of these "minor" details! His time, I know.
posted by Jessica  # 10:04 PM

Friday, March 14, 2003

New site set up for the artists of wabiSABI at wabiart.blogspot.com. Check it out and let me know if you want an invite to join in the conversation.
posted by Jessica  # 12:34 PM

Thursday, March 13, 2003

I can't wait to meet Brad Sargent at wabiSABI in a few weeks. This is part of his selfless and powerful response when asked how he could be prayed for:

"And there will be many who have labored in obscurity here on earth but are being applauded in heaven; let them hear and receive the sound of one Lord clapping, followed by that of His family!"

Thats what I'm talkin about! Brad has been the cheerleader for Shannon and I through this whole planning portion of the event and I don't know what this thing would look like without him but I'm glad we don't have to find out.
posted by Jessica  # 4:52 PM
Rush of emotions today. Feel like I'm coming alive again after a few months of hibernation and a little beating up. This time in Texas has been like the Matrix for me; I have been locked into this alternate world of the mind and God has been downloading these amazing talents and growth in me. Although I know where reality is for me, I'm comfortable in this world that is not my own because I have been here for so long now and I do have friendships and comfortable surroundings. I remember that being a fear of mine before I came here in September--the fear of becoming complacent, yuck!

I'm not sure where this is from (I'm willing to take a stab that it's not from a healthy place) but today has also been a day of taking a mental/emotional note of all that has been given up in order to follow Him. Yep, it's bad cause now I'm feeling a little self pity.... poor me ;-) It started when we went to the Humane Society. I thought myself a tough girl walking in and walked out a blubbering idiot. Pet owners can understand this better than those who don't have pets but I really miss my cats and it makes me very sad that I had to give them away. This is my blog so I actually have a forum to talk about them. I try not to do it in public cause no one likes to actually hear about other peoples pets for the most part and I would suggest you stop reading here if you don't want details.

I had a little girl calico named "Thumbie" that I got from a trailer park in the middle of BFE North Carolina when I was working in Raleigh 1995. I had just moved out on my own for the first time and had always loved cats. She was so darn cute and I'm guessing the runt of the litter. She had an extra thumb on each paw (i.e. "Thumbie") and was a little skittish but loved me and I her.

A few years later I felt bad because I imagined Thumbie being so bored at home all day by herself because I was working incredibly long hours almost everyday of the week. A friend of a friend was trying to find a good home for their cat "nashingra" and I became that home. He was all white except for a few black spots here and there; the most noticeable was right above his right eye. He was cool. I know that everybody says that about his or her cats but mine REALLY was. Even people that didn't like cats liked him. He acted like a dog and actually was bigger than my parents dogs. The name "boy" eventually stuck to him along with all of the massive amounts of cat food he ate. He weighed 21 LBS. If he were a human he would be a Chuck Berry. Big black blues man that everyone thinks is cool and respects his style.

My cats became excellent movers believe it or not because I moved to a new place every 6 months with my job for 5 years and then when I moved to Europe I left them with a few different friends. After I found out that my moving to Europe wouldn't be a temporary thing and that I was being called into a mobile lifestyle, I had to make a decision on what was going to be best for them. When I adopted them I committed to being responsible for them for the duration of their lives and I knew that it was going to have to look different than I had thought originally. Putting an ad in the local paper advertising " moving to Europe and can't bring my two 8 year old cats" sounds like no big deal unless you are the one doing it. My next thought was who is going to want two 8-year-old cats??? I had just flown back to Texas when my Dad called me an told me that in two days he had received around 13 different calls from people that wanted to take them. They both have ended up in the same home with a woman who just recently got remarried and has 2 children. She worked for a pet hospital and loves animals. I know they are being loved and they deserve stability. I miss them.

I know that as followers we sacrifice. And, for the most part, I try to live like Paul and take pleasure in my weaknesses and sacrifice. But is it wrong to want someone to commiserate with you sometimes? I just want someone to take pity on me or feel sorry for me and say something like "wow, look at what you have done, I have so much compassion for you" or "look at what you have given up to follow Jesus" or even "poor you".

As I'm typing this I'm feeling selfish and foolish but it's where my heads at. I know that I'm not alone. Off the top of my head I can think of so many people that have traded lives of worldly luxury for lifestyles of poverty and various sorts of sacrifices in the name of ministry. A lot of them have families too. I am blessed to have them to commiserate with but also to share what is truly important. Ok, I think I'm better now; brat mode's over
posted by Jessica  # 12:09 PM

Tuesday, March 11, 2003

Guess since I "pressured" Shannon into blogging I should jot down alittle somethin somethin to be fair. Nothing profound to say but I will tell you that I strongly dislike clothes shopping (with the exception of thrift stores occasionally). I know that most women are supposed to love it and turn to it for comfort and that it brings some sense of peace and tranquility to their lives, but not me. All I am aware of is how dang hot it is in the tiny dressing room after trying on 6 pairs of jeans in a row, and how loud children really can be when they scream at the top of their lungs. I strongly dislike the limit of 6 items when I just want to get it over with. I strongly dislike that you can't find a pair of jeans these days that aren't hip huggers made for girls with no butts. I was told growing up to not to use the word "hate" but to instead replace it with "strongly dislike", as well as told to always finish a negative statement with a positive...therefore " I strongly dislike shopping and don't get how anyone could enjoy it or find it relaxing, However...Target rocks
posted by Jessica  # 10:25 PM

Monday, March 10, 2003

Got to get a few CD's today...very excited. It's a little overwhelming to go into a music store when I haven’t been for so long. Picked up David Gray's-a new day at midnight; The Roots-do you want more?!!!??! and Ella Fitzgerald's-the best of the song books.
posted by Jessica  # 10:25 PM
wabiSABI meeting went well tonight with the Austin crew. Hey, this thing is really going to happen--and SOON! I think that just really hit me.
posted by Jessica  # 10:19 PM
I really do love San Antonio and could see myself either living or spending a lot of time there if I ever moved back to the states. One of the highlights of the weekend was dinner at the MagicTime Machine-- all of the wait-staff dresses in costume (we had Luke Skywalker) and the place is decorated in original 1973 decor of kitsch meets LSD trip. The wait staff is encouraged to be loud and obnoxious and if you attempt to sneak off to the restroom you have now been forewarned that the entire establishment will be aware of it; they either announce it over the intercom or the staff yells out for everyone to hear that you have just come back from the potty! I'm not kidding...it's wacky! Theres serious assessment thoughts and evaluations in my head as well right now but I don't quite feel up to thinking, processing and typing at the moment. I will say however that if I either wanted to raise a family or get to be part of a very open and excepting community, this city might very well be one of the best places to do that.
posted by Jessica  # 10:10 PM


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