This is a random mix of daily novelties
Saturday, February 15, 2003
Back from Houston. Meeting didn't go exactly as we had thought it would; I'm still processing through everything.
Martina has arrived to Texas and it's nice to see her again.
Tomorrow we are taking the Sabbath...get to catch up on some good R and R and hang out with Martina on her first official day in Austin.
Oh, in Houstin we went to see "How to lose a guy in 10 days" ,against my choice for the most part and I'm glad I was outvoted-believe it or not it was funny and worth the watch.
Thursday, February 13, 2003
"On the road again, just can't wait to get on the road again"....It's funny when you wake up with a song in your head that's appropriate for the day to come. I think its one of the ways that God communicates to me and shows me that He's not always about serious stuff but also about fun and silly stuff too. The first time I realized it was Him was when I was in vacationing in Croatia last summer and I woke up signing.."Deep in the Heart of Texas"...which seemed random till I found out an hour later by text message that a ticket to Texas had arrived in the mail back in Prague!
Should I tell Him I prefer polka and see if he sends me home?!
Ok, off to Houston
Wednesday, February 12, 2003
will anyone who knows a woman or knows of a woman who feels completely confident with her physical appearance, please email me and let me know. Research
There have been only a few times in my life when I really felt God had put something major on my heart that I was suppose to ponder and then react upon. This is one of those times. Let me just give you a brief idea of what's been happening with me here in Texas since I came in Sept. 2002. I knew it was going to be a time of growth and development but I thought in a much different way that what has transpired. It has turned into a season of stages of "self awareness". First it was the awareness that other people see me much differently than I see myself. Then it was a deeper sense of how I see myself through the progression of understanding of how others see me, and now this is the crappy part...Now I’m forced to really evaluate who I am in God's eyes. Ok, I'm sure most people go through some form of this. But it sucks! There are layers that are being checked and wiped away that I never even knew existed! There are also good parts of this...I am a woman. Not a girl anymore, not limited to physical definitions like being a chick or hottie, but "I am a"... beautiful woman with strength and ability. It still makes me uncomfortable to say that out loud.... oh, also working on confidence issues! Now, I haven’t come to complete terms with what this means "to be a woman" according to Gods expectation but I’m starting to get excited about it. God sees me this way and He's showing me. No one can take that away from me. No one can even challenge that fact because it IS the way He knows me and made me.
Ok, so now that that’s said it's time to get vulnerable again. I have come to see that I show an identity by some curious physical expression. Instead of my identity being shown through how I dress or my hair or my piercings I think that I instead hide behind these expressions and they in turn have become my identity.
Thats well and fine for the daily world and this is how we place people and statis on one another, but the part that sucks here is that God doesn't see me like this. He sees me as so much more and I'm limiting myself in this expression. So, what does this mean??? I guess thats the remainder of the lesson while here in Texas. My friends the other night said they seem to feel that wabiSABI will be a sort of graduation for me and my experience here. I think the next few weeks should be painfully real.
Tomorrow we are off to Houston for a couple of reasons. One is that Martina is coming back to Texas from sunny Florida and we are going to pick her up,and the other is for this meeting I mentioned a few blogs ago about this round table conversation thats to happen about the future of funding for missions and leadership. Should be interesting and a good starting point to get the much needed discussion started.
Spent the last few days in "cowboy country"...really! You know the image that comes to mind when most people think about what Texas looks like but have never been here. It's true...its dusty, it's wooden, there are wild herds of animals like jackalope, goats and Turkey. There are signs for Rodeos which are hosted by some of the various ranches of that area. Everyone drives powerful trucks because they need them, and men really do wear staple cowboy gear which include hat, extremely tight jeans, boots and large belt buckle. We ate at this restaurant called "Lost Maples" in Utopia TX (cute isn't it, might be a bit exagerated) that had .55 coffee and the best homemade pies, which sat behind the rustic wooden counter in an old bakers rack.